who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
