i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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