Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
