He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
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