But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
