Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
