She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
