I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
