Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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