fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
