I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
