Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
