wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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