I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
