i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
