fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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