Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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