Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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