Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
