he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
