i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
