Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
