I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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