I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
