Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
