I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
