I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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