It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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