He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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