why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
