Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
