It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just google imaged poop.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
