I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
