She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
