Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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