She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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