2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
God, I missed his penis.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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