dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
