can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
