Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
