We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
