if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
