Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
