doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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