susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
