Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
