Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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