I looked at my own cervix.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
