I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
