Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
