Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
